"Good morning"
"Good morning!"
uh "aaalright Moooorgen !!!!!"
"Hey, what's the matter say? I now for the umpteenth time," Good morning !!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Schatzl?
" Schatzl? "
" Schaaatzl! "
.................................
"Schatzl?"
"What is the matter?" .
I lie in bed and watching one of my eyes to the right, the other to the left I feel like after a case of beer: it's all about, nothing is somehow the way it should be. I lie in bed and babbling. "Hello, darling, I'm awake." "Schatzl !!!!".......... "Hi, I'm awake!" "Why are you so?" "Hey, can you understand me?" "Hey, what's wrong ?????" "Why do you hear me?"
I, my nose itches. I scratch, I'm trying to scratch, I can not move my hand. Now I'm just kind located on it and it is easy to sleep. Now I've still got another hand and with the I scratch myself.
I will get up now, I get out of bed ........... he? what's going on. I can not get up, my body .. "Hello Schatzl!" .. He obeys me not.
I, what with me ..??
"Hey, who has since turned off the light?" I do not even have my nose in front of the eyes, "who gave me cotton wool inserted in the ears?". Finally there is light again, I can see again but someone has showered it is all full of haze, I see everything through a dense fog. "Scheissssss! What's going on?" I cry aloud. No one hears me, be no one there, but one must be there because the house wall to the forest is gone. "Hey, I live but not in the forest!" what? why? where?
a white coat in front of me and asks: "What her because he What's he doing?".
"Hey, if you know the net Depp, manner as to knowledge, "my answer way, everything is gone
some point.."? .. careful, very careful .... so they put her head so ... just ... "
some point:" ... Wow, this ...."
make some point: "... Look me ..... my faithful eyes and ... .. very g. ......."
some point: ".. laganfall he n. ..... he can hear us ..... he can not
us ....." some point: "Your favorite, finally limp out hunger" I look around sometimes and I know not, who is that? "What is it, where am I?"
"They are in hospital, all right. You have slept long and now they are sure are hungry. "With disbelieving
Blick frage ich: „Krankenhaus? Wieso?.... Hunger, ja ich habe großen Hunger.“
Wenige Minuten später ist der Arzt am Bett und erzählt mir: " Na wie geht es Ihnen denn? Sind sie ausgeschlafen? Wir haben schon einen Platz für sie."
„Rehab? Hand? Fuß? Kann ihn nicht bewegen, nicht greifen???? Meine rechte Hand, ich kann nicht mehr zeichnen, schreiben, essen – nichts funktioniert mehr. Ich will das nicht, mach das weg, Scheiße, ihr seid lauter Arschlöcher..... warum ich? …..............meine Familie, meine Frau und mein Kind …...was werden denn die sagen? …......... wie soll es denn weitergehen? …................ der Papa ist ein Krüppel …...... Supermann ist abgestürzt und kann nimmer fliegen...... Scheiße......!!!!“
Alle reden mir immer wieder gut zu: „ ist ja nicht so schlimm, geht ja weiter, wird schon wieder......“
Klar es wird immer wieder, nur wie es wird, dass ist die Frage. Nicht so schlimm..... für wem? Es geht weiter......... klar es geht weiter, die Zeit bleibt nicht stehen, nur wie es weitergeht, dass ist mir nicht klar. Rollstuhl, Pflegefall..... das sind die Gedanken die in meinem Hirn eingebrannt sind.
In meinem Horoskop steht: „....es wird ein schönes Jahr für sie....“ Als ob die Sterne wissen würden , dass es mich gibt.
has a clinic psychologist once told me then that there are stages of recovery, doubt .....
I Have not noticed because ......
... one day ....: "Ok, this is total crap, but what to do. I can change that and will do it also, in the Rehab, I can again be as before, almost as, well you'll never be back, because something changed you, at least. "
something Today, I again draw read, write, run ..... Today I'm really
.
Today I live as I used to live before.
Today, I perceive things whose existence I previously had no idea.
live today ich.
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